Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Lost on Star Trek (SPOILER ALERT!!!!)

If you plan on seeing the new Star Trek then stop reading now unless you want to get a glimpse at some of the "things" in the new movie.

In episode #35 of Star Trek TOS (that's "The Original Series" for you non-Trekkers) "The Doomsday Machine", the crew of the Enterprise fights a device that is destroying worlds.

Well, that's no longer the case.

In episode #44 of Star Trek TOS, "The Trouble with Tribbles", the Enterprise has to breakup a dispute between the Klingons and the Federation (with a little cute and furry Tribble problem mixed in).

Nope, wrong again, didn't happen.

How about "Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan"? The Enterprise crew has to fight a crazy genetically engineered long-haired dude and some creepy mind controlling eels.

Uh uh, nyet. Not any more.

Then there's episode #42 of Star Trek TNG, "Q Who?" (The Next Generation), where we get to meet the Borg.

Yeah, that didn't happen. (That's not to say that the Borg aren't out there of course.)

etc. etc. etc. etc. ... ... ... ... ...........

I caught myself being fished in about 15 minutes into the movie as James T. Kirk was being born on a shuttle way the heck out in space. Of course "we" (Trekkers) all know that Kirk was born in Iowa (most likely Riverside, Iowa).

Then it clicked.

With the Romulan psycho Nero's trip back in time they've just single handedly messed with the space-time continuum and destroyed the entire original Star Trek timeline.

Yes, destroyed.

The new Star Trek movie has rendered ALL of the old Star Trek canon null and void. They've re-written 'history' by messing with time (by bringing folks from the future into the past and wrecking things) and rebooting (that's their term) Star Trek. Everything we knew that happened in all of the old/original Star Trek series, movies, cartoons etc. is no longer valid (from a purist point of view).

J.J. threw us a "Lost" curve ball and has now made it simple for him (and Paramount) to continue on with this new Star Trek thread and or brand. They've essentially re-written the Star Trek "story" thus securing their place for any future Star Trek television series/movies/comic books/action figures/key chains/t-shirts/conventions, etc.

So we can now have a series or movie where we are buddies with the Klingons from the get go. Or make a new movie about Ensign Picard and how he gets kicked out of StarFleet for knocking off some innocent Cardassian. Or perhaps there will be a show devoted entirely to Zefram Cochrane and the events in his life before he created the warp drive (but perhaps after his AA rehab).

Either way, this disturbance in the Star Trek continuum has deflated all our solar sails. In a way we've (again I'm talkin' Trekkers here) all lost a little bit with the release of the new movie. When producers are given the keys to a new movie there is a certain expectation that they will honor the truth or reality of the story as it has been handed down understood by the masses.

But hey, that's ok. I ain't going to tell you to write your congressmen. I have the original movies on DVD, the old t.v. series on reruns and I can always choose to ignore this "new" time line. I do have to say it will be a little weird getting used to Spock and Uhura (that Tuvok sure looks a lot like Spock, hmmmmm?). I thought she and Kirk had a thing? Ah, but then there's the whole new timeline deal again.

Look, it was a good movie, for sure. Great action, visuals etc. It was good. I'm not at all upset that I spent $28 on two IMAX tickets (at the AMC Orchard 12 in Westminster, CO). In fact I HIGHLY recommend watching this one on IMAX if you can.

So, in short, I totally enjoyed the movie.....
...... for the most part.

I'm not saying that I won't be the first one in line at the IMAX for:

Star Trek II: V'ger Phone Home (coming mid-2011)
Star Trek III: Horta Can You Hear Me (probably coming sometime mid-2013).

To sum up, J.J. said it best (and perhaps I should have been forewarned)

"Abrams to purists: Don't waste your time"

I guess I can hope for the final Star Wars trilogy to start up. At least I can rest assured that there won't be any funny time-warp deals going on with the last three episodes of the last trilogy if it ever gets made.

Or can I?

In the words of Spock, Good Luck (used to be "Live Long And Prosper").